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unsospiroone thing about me, i will always have a mild disdain for christmas (sorry to all the christmas lovers out there, you are valid i’m just a hater) and a massive love for new year's eve. i love my family’s traditional japanese cooking, staying up late, and reflecting on myself. it’s my favorite time of the year.
2025 - new year, new me?
looking back on 2025, i realize that for better and for worse, the gap between the person i was and the person i am now is the widest it’s ever been.
at the start of 2025 i set two new year’s resolutions for myself. the first one was to journal every day. the second was to stay away from twitter from the entire year. i succeeded at staying off of twitter but i completely forgot about the journaling goal. something very important i’ve learned about myself this year is that when it comes to goal-setting, quality over quantity matters more. however, even though my new year’s resolution success rate for this year was 50%, staying off of twitter is the first new year’s resolution i’ve ever successfully remembered and maintained for an entire year. while it was the easier and significantly less important goal, it was nice to accomplish something.
an eternal source of frustration for me is the omnipresent feeling that i haven’t changed at all and that for as long as i can remember, i have been stuck with the same problems. i’ve particularly felt that in 2025 as many of the struggles that characterize this year for me are long-running problems: overloaded schedules, irresponsibility, a tendency to avoid things that are difficult.
however, looking back on this year, i’m realizing that i did continuously attempt to tackle these issues. i did try to soldier through the embarrassment of not having a drivers license and learn how to drive from my dad (in 2026 PLEASE learn from literally anyone else), i tried to lighten my schedule (it was not your fault that it got fucked up and you had to late-add a whole extra class in the middle of the semester), and i actively reached out to professors when things got difficult.
a few other achievements that i’m proud of:
- i started writing my first fanfic (yet to be finished and feeling a bit lost) and have started a second fanfic (rough around the edges but way more likely to be completed soon)
- i competed in my first ballroom competition and then another. i won a second-place medal in pre-novice smooth waltz/tango! i love ballroom dancing so much.
- i learned a couple new piano pieces: etude op.10 no.3, grande valse brilliante, and i’m currently working on etude op.25 no.1. wow it’s really been a chopin year. even though i haven’t completed as many pieces as i’ve usually done, i really feel like with etude op.10 no.3 i got to dive in deep and really learn the piece. my technique has improved a lot and my love for piano has been rekindled.
- i pulled back on my hours with volunteering for band but doubled my work ethic and involvement in the time that i did spend. i really enjoyed teaching and i’m excited to see the kids that came in as freshmen graduate as accomplished seniors next year! my football kid turned piano protégé is my proudest achievement.
- even though i really hated one of my classes this semester, i still pushed through and wrote that stupid research paper.
- i created this dreamwidth! this site is really lovely and i really want to push myself to reach out to more people. hwarium’s transcript and thoughts on Brennan Lee Mulligan’s interview was really eye-opening for me in terms of how i think about community. “...the closeness of a community is built by expending effort and by doing favours for your friends.” as a longtime rpf lurker entering a burgeoning fandom (tripleS) with significantly less established rpf communities than i’m used to (loona, twice) i realized that having people passionate about similar interests can be limited and ephemeral unless people choose to stay and build relationships around it. i chose to start writing because of the passion and kindness of writers i’ve long admired from afar and i would really love to contribute back through posting on ao3, commenting, and being involved on dreamwidth.
media and fandom
- nmixx: i’ve continued loving them this year and was exceptionally proud of blue valentine. they continue to blow past my expectations and reinvent themselves as artists.
- tripleS: i never thought i would be here but i’m truly and completely obsessed.
- haikyuu: i watched the first two seasons five years ago as something in the background while i did laundry. idk if it’s because i’m competing in a sport (ballroom dancing) for the first time in my life or because i’ve learned that i truly cannot do other tasks while i watch tv but woah. it’s really resonating with me this time around. this is a great show.
- dropout: vic michaelis i love you. as a political science major this year has been very depressing and good comedy has never been more important. my girlfriend has been begging me to watch dimension20 and i really don’t know a single thing about dnd but trust– in 2026 i will.
- over the garden wall: i’m very late to the party but i watched this when i was sick and sad and i loved it
- chopin: an etude can be something so life changing. mr. chopin i hope to do your works justice.
- other things i enjoyed: dandadan, sakamoto days, heart2hearts and illit single releases, save the cat by blake snyder, writing down the bones by natalie goldberg (unifinished), eichmann in jerusalem by hannah arendt, decolonising the mind by ngũgĩ wa thiong'o (unfinished) and every other anti-colonial essay and piece of literature i read this year. to indigenous, especially native-hawaiian authors everywhere i love you and i aspire to be you
2026 - new year, new ideas
stuff i want to do:
- i will get my drivers license
- i need to further pull back on my volunteer hours for band, fall semester is just too busy
- don’t take any classes earlier than 9. yes the 8 am class was great. but you will be at practice until 11 pm. please don’t forget this during registration again.
- i really want to put more hours into ballroom dancing and piano
- eat better. you are stupid when hungry.
- go to sleep earlier.
- connect with more rpf writers!
- write more. both academically and for fun.
- be more reliable. i want to be a person who is dependable and consistent.
new year’s resolution
other goals aside, there is only room for one official new year’s resolution which is: journal every day! difficult periods of my life tend to correlate with a lack of journaling which can be attributed to multiple causes, but i think the simple explanation is that regular journaling just actively improves my life. i tend to forget things immediately unless i write them down somewhere, which includes small to-do list items and big life goals. writing means i’m trying and things will be okay as long as i’m trying.
also, now that 2025 is done i do plan to get back on twitter (now that i’ve figured out screen time limits that work for me) so be on the lookout for that.
it's been a rough year but i'm honestly feeling hopeful and excited for 2026. to anyone who read through this including my future self, i'm so sorry i really didn't edit this and i hope you have a happy new year!
2025 - new year, new me?
looking back on 2025, i realize that for better and for worse, the gap between the person i was and the person i am now is the widest it’s ever been.
at the start of 2025 i set two new year’s resolutions for myself. the first one was to journal every day. the second was to stay away from twitter from the entire year. i succeeded at staying off of twitter but i completely forgot about the journaling goal. something very important i’ve learned about myself this year is that when it comes to goal-setting, quality over quantity matters more. however, even though my new year’s resolution success rate for this year was 50%, staying off of twitter is the first new year’s resolution i’ve ever successfully remembered and maintained for an entire year. while it was the easier and significantly less important goal, it was nice to accomplish something.
an eternal source of frustration for me is the omnipresent feeling that i haven’t changed at all and that for as long as i can remember, i have been stuck with the same problems. i’ve particularly felt that in 2025 as many of the struggles that characterize this year for me are long-running problems: overloaded schedules, irresponsibility, a tendency to avoid things that are difficult.
however, looking back on this year, i’m realizing that i did continuously attempt to tackle these issues. i did try to soldier through the embarrassment of not having a drivers license and learn how to drive from my dad (in 2026 PLEASE learn from literally anyone else), i tried to lighten my schedule (it was not your fault that it got fucked up and you had to late-add a whole extra class in the middle of the semester), and i actively reached out to professors when things got difficult.
a few other achievements that i’m proud of:
- i started writing my first fanfic (yet to be finished and feeling a bit lost) and have started a second fanfic (rough around the edges but way more likely to be completed soon)
- i competed in my first ballroom competition and then another. i won a second-place medal in pre-novice smooth waltz/tango! i love ballroom dancing so much.
- i learned a couple new piano pieces: etude op.10 no.3, grande valse brilliante, and i’m currently working on etude op.25 no.1. wow it’s really been a chopin year. even though i haven’t completed as many pieces as i’ve usually done, i really feel like with etude op.10 no.3 i got to dive in deep and really learn the piece. my technique has improved a lot and my love for piano has been rekindled.
- i pulled back on my hours with volunteering for band but doubled my work ethic and involvement in the time that i did spend. i really enjoyed teaching and i’m excited to see the kids that came in as freshmen graduate as accomplished seniors next year! my football kid turned piano protégé is my proudest achievement.
- even though i really hated one of my classes this semester, i still pushed through and wrote that stupid research paper.
- i created this dreamwidth! this site is really lovely and i really want to push myself to reach out to more people. hwarium’s transcript and thoughts on Brennan Lee Mulligan’s interview was really eye-opening for me in terms of how i think about community. “...the closeness of a community is built by expending effort and by doing favours for your friends.” as a longtime rpf lurker entering a burgeoning fandom (tripleS) with significantly less established rpf communities than i’m used to (loona, twice) i realized that having people passionate about similar interests can be limited and ephemeral unless people choose to stay and build relationships around it. i chose to start writing because of the passion and kindness of writers i’ve long admired from afar and i would really love to contribute back through posting on ao3, commenting, and being involved on dreamwidth.
media and fandom
- nmixx: i’ve continued loving them this year and was exceptionally proud of blue valentine. they continue to blow past my expectations and reinvent themselves as artists.
- tripleS: i never thought i would be here but i’m truly and completely obsessed.
- haikyuu: i watched the first two seasons five years ago as something in the background while i did laundry. idk if it’s because i’m competing in a sport (ballroom dancing) for the first time in my life or because i’ve learned that i truly cannot do other tasks while i watch tv but woah. it’s really resonating with me this time around. this is a great show.
- dropout: vic michaelis i love you. as a political science major this year has been very depressing and good comedy has never been more important. my girlfriend has been begging me to watch dimension20 and i really don’t know a single thing about dnd but trust– in 2026 i will.
- over the garden wall: i’m very late to the party but i watched this when i was sick and sad and i loved it
- chopin: an etude can be something so life changing. mr. chopin i hope to do your works justice.
- other things i enjoyed: dandadan, sakamoto days, heart2hearts and illit single releases, save the cat by blake snyder, writing down the bones by natalie goldberg (unifinished), eichmann in jerusalem by hannah arendt, decolonising the mind by ngũgĩ wa thiong'o (unfinished) and every other anti-colonial essay and piece of literature i read this year. to indigenous, especially native-hawaiian authors everywhere i love you and i aspire to be you
2026 - new year, new ideas
stuff i want to do:
- i will get my drivers license
- i need to further pull back on my volunteer hours for band, fall semester is just too busy
- don’t take any classes earlier than 9. yes the 8 am class was great. but you will be at practice until 11 pm. please don’t forget this during registration again.
- i really want to put more hours into ballroom dancing and piano
- eat better. you are stupid when hungry.
- go to sleep earlier.
- connect with more rpf writers!
- write more. both academically and for fun.
- be more reliable. i want to be a person who is dependable and consistent.
new year’s resolution
other goals aside, there is only room for one official new year’s resolution which is: journal every day! difficult periods of my life tend to correlate with a lack of journaling which can be attributed to multiple causes, but i think the simple explanation is that regular journaling just actively improves my life. i tend to forget things immediately unless i write them down somewhere, which includes small to-do list items and big life goals. writing means i’m trying and things will be okay as long as i’m trying.
also, now that 2025 is done i do plan to get back on twitter (now that i’ve figured out screen time limits that work for me) so be on the lookout for that.
it's been a rough year but i'm honestly feeling hopeful and excited for 2026. to anyone who read through this including my future self, i'm so sorry i really didn't edit this and i hope you have a happy new year!
no subject
Date: 2026-01-05 08:04 pm (UTC)and really sympathize with your thoughts on community + fandom interaction. i saw the same brennan lee mulligan interview and have been trying to push myself to do the same 😭 certainly a process! anyway it's been wonderful to meet you through the dw space and i look forward to your writing here and elsewhere. happy new year!
no subject
Date: 2026-01-06 07:26 am (UTC)to your second point, yessssss like it's such a simple and seemingly obvious thing but it's truly been a little life-changing for me. i read through your end of year post and was so excited to see that you had similar thoughts.
on the topic of your end of year post, you have had a hell of a fic writing year! obviously i loved "and pedrolino smiled at pierrot" along with your other tripleS fics (aaaah i've been meaning to leave a comment on "pas de deux" but never got around to it), but i have to mention "wings to echo the light". it is just so good. i still don't know a single thing about me:i but i truly have so much love for that fic.
it's been great to meet you too and thank you for commenting on this long ass post :)
no subject
Date: 2026-01-06 10:56 pm (UTC)